Because football is a dignified sport where only the most erudite language is used on and off the field, Jet's coach Rex Ryan must forfeit $75,000 for telling a fan to "Shut the f*ck up" during last week's loss to the Patriots. The fan had called out "Rex, Belichick is better than you!" as Ryan was entering the locker room at halftime. It's not clear in the video, but we're pretty sure that right after the fan yelled that, they added, "At foot massages!" Or maybe it was, "At getting fined!"

Ryan, who has been fined before for other grievous affronts to a multi-billion dollar industry's honor, apologized shortly after the incident, saying, "I obviously made a mistake. I was full of emotion and just popped off." Surely $75,000 out of his salary of millions will make him think long and hard before cursing again. Doesn't he understand that there are children watching football in between the beer commercials and partially nude women? At least he didn't jump into the stands.