Republicans aren't worried about their prospects of winning back the White House in 2016—their rock-bottom approval numbers will rebound, and the youth and Hispanic voters are sure to forget about how the GOP has tirelessly obstructed immigration reform and a woman's right to choose. And Hillary? Let's face it, this country needs new blood—have you heard of this fresh-faced, former governor named Bush?
Yes, this is how the Republicans will attack Clinton's formidable resumé should she choose to run: Hillary Clinton is old and aren't we tired of old, uh, women, running this country?
“The idea that we’re at the end of her generation and that it’s time for another to step forward is certainly going to be compelling," Karl "Premature Ohio" Rove said. Hear that, voters who turn out more than any other age group? It's the end of your generation!
“The reality is, when you look at the Democrats, they’ve got old, tired ideas being produced by old, tired candidates," Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal says. Feel free to ask him about the exciting new ideas Republicans have about coal and Creationism.
Kentucky Senator Rand Paul, one of the few members of Congress to applaud the actions of NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden, understands "the youth."
The youth are attracted to people who don’t want to lock them up and throw away the key for marijuana. In some ways, the older Democrats have become more staid and status-quo-like than some of us Republicans.
"The youth" also have some pretty strong opinions about gay marriage and Roe v. Wade—how did that youth turnout work for your dad?
Wake us up when Chris Christie and Hillary Clinton are taking dueling selfies.