Tired of wasting their talents on such frivolities as Wii tennis tournaments and water gun wars, equities lawyer Franz Aliquo and Thrillist editor Steve Bryant have gotten serious with an ambitious “Rental Car Rally,” which will pit 60 teams of drivers in a road race from New York City to Montreal this August. Because with gas costing over $4.50 a gallon and global warming leaving civilization almost certainly doomed, what could be more amusing than a gratuitous waste of energy? In the organizers’ words, “It's the tits, son.”
The rally will kick off Friday, Aug 15th, at midnight, at Water Taxi Beach, with rental car drivers starting their engines when the Empire State Building “dims its tower lights at the stroke of midnight” (in abject shame). Contestants will then cut across Manhattan into Jersey and head north towards Montreal on local roads. Once there, everyone will part-ay! “There will be drinks. It will be rad. Montreal, despite being in Canada, is a real city...”
Inexorably, all these the rad participants plan to return to New York City the following morning for a triumphant awards ceremony at Water taxi Beach, where “Euros” and other prizes will be given for achievements like “Most/Least Gas Used.” You know you’re so going to want in on this, bro, so act now because there are only 47 tickets left, at $150 per car. Let’s show Canada why America will always be #1 at stuff like conspicuous consumption.
