Take a moment tonight to put down your silver chalice, wring the margarita salt out of your hair and gleefully tremble at the sight that confirms your insignificance: the SuperMoon. According to the AP, at 11:34 p.m. the moon will be a mere 221,802 miles from earth, the closest it will get in 2012, before the earth yet again tells the moon to stop texting her and that it will never work, so he'll back off for another year.

The AP helpfully notes that this is not the beginning of the apocalypse:

But no matter how far away a full moon is, it's not going to make people kill themselves or others, commit other crimes, get admitted to a psychiatric hospital or do anything else that popular belief suggests, a psychologist says.

Studies that have tried to document such connections have found "pretty much a big mound of nothing, as far as I can tell," said Scott Lilienfeld of Emory University.

Well we know one professor who isn't getting into our lead-encased bunker when all the fire signs turn into hideous aswangs and lay waste unto the world.