In a perfect metaphor for their disastrous season, beleaguered Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine injured himself checking a text message while biking in Central Park yesterday. It's hard to top the first sentence of the NY Times story on it: "In the final days of one of the most painful seasons of his career, Red Sox Manager Bobby Valentine on Tuesday lay entangled with his bicycle at the bottom of a ditch next to the Central Park Reservoir." Of course this had to happen to him in NYC.

Valentine, the former Mets manager who once snuck in the dugout incognito in a fake mustache, told them he was reading a text from second basemen Dustin Pedroia when the accident occurred—when he looked up, he had to swerve to avoid the umbrellas of two French tourists walking in front of him. How and why he knew they were FRENCH tourists (maybe they were carrying baguettes, or wearing berets?), we'll never know. Valentine, who rides his bike to Fenway Park most days, sustained minor injuries to his knees and hips.

There's no mention of him getting any tickets or anything, but Valentine apologized for texting-while-biking. “I shouldn’t have been reading a text while I was riding, ” he said. “That’s the wrong thing to do. But at least I was wearing my helmet.” Valentine must be getting pretty used to this kind of bargaining.