Out of this writhing pile of American cockroaches at the 34th Street—Herald Square subway station, which is your favorite?

Dinner

A video posted by martin james (@martied_out) on

Is it Sheepish Shelby, who tiptoes towards the gang from left of frame to gingerly nibble from the food square?

Or maybe Peek-A-Boo Pete, who flashes his prize betwixt the grates only to dive back into the deep?

What about the Parallel Twins? Their geometric repose reminds us that the most important thing to bring to a roach orgy is class.

And then there's Selfish Slim, who grabs a chunk and climbs up the wall to hog it—and the camera—all to himself.

Look at Tugboat Terry! He's really pulling that food square away from the thrashing mandibles of his cousins. Toot toot!

Oh, Shitbag Ralph. Remember what Cockroach Mom told you about walking over a pile of other cockroaches to find food? (That it's totally cool.)

See you on the next Memorial Day Truce!

If you found this video revolting, tell your state representatives and Governor Cuomo to stop robbing the MTA of badly needed funding and figure out a way to come up with more cash for a 21st Century subway system that harbors fewer pulsating balls of vermin.