But if they were, they won't be soon! Yep, good news: the Department of Health's rodentologist, Robert Corrigan, says he is "very optimistic that we can control the rats in subways." He's been leading an assault on underground rats, and says while the city will never fully be rid of the rodent, there is an attainable goal that can be reached which would make spotting one a rare occurrence. Can you picture it, city that has a rodentologist on payroll?

Corrigan and his team studied 18 lower Manhattan stations, according to the Daily News, and nearly half were rat magnets filled with trash and holes allowing easy access for the vermin. Corrigan explains, "It's something of a New York City myth that all stations in the subway are prone to rats. If there's no food, there's no rats. It's really that simple." Train Pigs, you are now public enemy #1.

To curb the underground rat population, Corrigan suggests that the MTA stop wasting money on bait traps, and start cleaning the stations more frequently, as well as putting rat-proof doors in refuse rooms. (Or maybe we can use this rat-proof technology to build a dome around the five boroughs?)

The city isn't releasing which stations didn't pass their test, but allegedly there were only two lines below Canal Street that did. Their plan to combat subway rats will be released next year. At which point we can expect a full on ratdemic squeezing above ground through the city's cracked sidewalks.