Our dreams of turning the desolate Rat Island off the coast of City Island into our own personal evil lair have been dashed—for now. As planned, the island was sold at auction last weekend. On the plus side? It isn't going to be turned into the Trump Rat Island Resort And Spa, as the guy who bought it plans on keeping the island just the way it is. Except for the name, maybe.

Retired 71-year-old Port Authority worker Alex Schibli has been living on City Island for 12 years and has been coveting Rat Island the whole time. “I can see it from my window. My wife and I kayak around it all the time,” he told The Post. “I feel like it has always belonged to me. It’s so lovely out here. You wouldn’t even believe you were in New York. And there are no rats at all!"

Also, he genuinely seems to care about it. He tells the tabloid that even before he bought it he's been watching over it and cleaning up after partiers ("They would leave beer bottles and other garbage. I took it upon myself to clean up after them. I care about the island so much.”). He plans on keeping it as it is and merely enjoying the fact that he can now point out his window and say he owns that island over there (unless of course he points at high tide, when the island has a tendency to go below water).

The only thing he might change is the island's name. He's currently thinking "Malina Island" after his 4-year-old granddaughter, but he's got time to make a final decision. Schibli, if you're reading this, Garth Island has a nice ring to it, don't you think?