Though kids can't assert dominance over one another with, say, the United States budget, they tap their sadistic power-grubbing potential pretty early on, using sticker books, gel pens and elusive Tickle-Me-Elmo dolls to establish playground hierarchy. Now, an Upper West Side elementary school is trying to hold its own against its pint-sized power players, banning popular Rainbow Loom bracelets because they are "causing conflict between children." FIX IT, DE BLASIO.

The bracelets, formerly known as TwistBandz, are comprised of colorful rubber bands that small hands can link together to create hippie-ish silicone friendship jewelry. And though there's nothing inherently sinister about them on the surface, administrators at PS 87 say they serve a nefarious purpose among students. "The children are playing with the bracelets during class without permission from teachers. [They] are playing with them at recess, and it is causing conflict between children,” the school's assistant principal, Suzan Federici, wrote in a letter to parents announcing the ban. "Therefore, starting immediately, your children are no longer allowed to bring any Rainbow Loom bracelets or the kits to school."

Apparently, not only are the bracelets distracting children from their lessons, but in keeping with our Tale of Two Cities, they're causing tension and fights between those who have the bracelents and those who have not. Federici has now mandated that any child found with a Rainbow Loom bracelet or kit on the premises will have to hand it over to a teacher. And the ban is teaching students a fast-and-hard lesson about the power of authority. "It’s not fair," a fifth-grader told the Post. "They said kids were arguing over them, but they weren’t. Now we can’t wear them at all." Welcome to the rest of your life, kid.

Parents are complaining about the ban—"Now I have a hundred thousand rubber bands around my house," one parent told the Post—but for now, it looks like students will have to survive without their precious neon loops. Though really, there's only one solution to this predicament.