You might want to watch out that front window, Larry. This is what happens when you move to the suburbs. A raccoon not only broke into a Rockland County woman's home on Wednesday night, it also sank its vile little animal teeth into her while she was throwing a party for her daughter and her friends. I don't know how you guys do things out there in Rockland County, but in this city, that's considered rude.

Pamela Poppe was in her basement fetching party favors for her 11-year-old daughter's friends when she encountered the felonious animal, which had apparently burrowed through a hole in the latticework of the family's deck. (In the suburbs, people use their basements as just another room, not a $1,500 per-month rental unit. They also have private decks with latticework.)

Surprised by the intruder, Poppe dropped the box she was holding, and the raccoon lunged, biting her on the leg. She ran out the door (as did her assailant, presumably) just as her husband was arriving home. Poppe is unsure whether the animal was rabid, and has been tested just in case. (It's not that we don't have raccoons in the city. It's just that here we have the decency to Instagram our run-ins with wildlife before we head to the hospital.)

The incident took place in the same vicinity where a coyote attacked a woman and her shih tzu earlier this week. Better just stay in the city where it's safe.