If your undergarments are still de-swamping from yesterday's nasty temperatures, note that today will be even worse—we're expected to hit a high of 94 degrees today, but when combined with humidity, it could feel as hot as 103. Has anyone created a Kickstarter to connect sweaty living people with metal beds for rent in frigid morgues? We'd donate.

Yesterday's heat advisory, air quality alert, and hazardous weather outlook will continue today. That heat advisory, by the way, is in effect until Thursday night, but by then we'll have all evaporated thanks to sweat and margarita salt. Yes, your last day on earth is a Wednesday, and you had a Starburst for breakfast. Reflect on this.

More importantly, though it's already hot, remember that things COULD GET WORSE. And they probably will—Con Edison has already reported 800 customers predominantly in Park Slope and Crown Heights without power thanks to the extreme heat. It's so hot Mayor De Blasio's going to hold a press conference about the weather this afternoon, but it's probably just another chance for reporters to troll him with Cuomo questions. "Mayor, you were noticeably absent from Governor Cuomo's press conference about rebuilding LaGuardia airport. Are you happy with the status quo at LaGuardia, or is your administration in favor of turning it into a lawless homeless encampment and methadone clinic?"

Anyway. If you'd like to calculate the melting point for humans, a helpful serial killer has addressed this on Yahoo! Answers.