The profile of outgoing St. Ann's head, Stanley Bosworth, in New York magazine is possibly the funniest/scariest thing we've read since the comics this morning. Saint Ann's, the private school in Brooklyn (ranked #1 private school by the Wall Street Journal, according to the article), asked the 76 year-old Bosworth to retire after 39 years, and he's retiring, all right, but in a crazy blaze of glory. NY reporter Ariel Levy write that a former student, after telling her that Bosworth loves women, says, "Call me back after you meet him. I want to know if he makes a pass at you." And, a few (web) pages in, Levy writes of a lunch with Bosworth:

After he’s finished his scotch and several glasses of wine, Stanley says, “I’m half in love with you, and you know it. If I invented you, you’d be the same you; you’d have the same bust, the same figure, the same nose, same eyes, and all that shit. Not that I was looking, I never do."

That's Bosworth! He continues to scam on Levy in the article. New York magazine, Levy deserves a day off for this article. Gothamist hears that at a St. Ann's meeting last night, one of the speakers mentioned how Bosworth told prospective parents that if they sent their daughter to Stuyvesant, she'd get raped in the halls. We think Bosworth needs a public access TV show, where he goes around saying outrageous things to people on the street, sort of like Jackass or Stuttering John. And it makes us wonder if Stuy principal Stan Teitel will ever get a profile.

For the record, Gothamist has always thought of the Far Side cartoon, the one where a kid is pushing a pull door (or pulling a push door) at the School For Gifted Children, when we've thought of Saint Ann's.