As anyone who is planning on moving here soon knows, if you don't live in Williamsburg then you'll be really far from your friends and your job and you'll find life really frustrating and impossible when it's supposed to be new and exciting and easy. You might as well stay in D.C.! This may explain why North Williamsburg (north of Grand Street, west of the BQE) boasts rents that are $1,600 higher than Williamsburg's Southside. "This is prime Williamsburg," MNS Real Estate CEO Andrew Barrocas told DNAinfo, while haughty men in pristine white robes sat on balconies above North 4th Street, nibbling spiced meats as workers below paved Kent Avenue with liquid bullion.

Average rents for studios/one & two bedroom apartments are $3,499 in Prime Williamsburg (there is no Closet Index—yet). Cross the border from Prime to South and the average rent dips down to $2,900. East of the BQE and south of Broadway, Double South Williamsburg,™ the average rent is $1,900. A report issued last year by the Citizen's Committee for Children of New York [PDF] noted that the area is marked by pockets of "Extreme poverty."

"It's obviously shocking how high these rents are," Councilmember Stephen Levin, who represents Williamsburg, told the website. "It's difficult for working people to make that type of rent. In a lot of ways it’s a composite of different sub-neighborhoods. I'm not surprised to see those discrepancies because there are hotter areas than others, but the high end prices are being driven by gentrification that’s clearly in overdrive."

Overdrive, or Natural Selection? "To a large degree rents need to increase. It's natural," Barrocas, MNS' CEO said. It's not just because of the gentrification of the area—water's more, sewage is more, the cost of land is more. Prices are increasing across the board." Don't even get us started on the contracts for those goddamned Virtual Doormen unions.