Noooo!

When the old sheepfold occupied by Tavern on the Green is taken over by a new operator in January, the notoriously mediocre tourist trap will lose the one thing that justified its existence: immaculately maintained public restrooms. The alternative, for the uninitiated, is the gross public restroom in Sheep Meadow, but since the '70s Tavern's facilities have served as a idyllic alternative. A spokeswoman for Tavern tells the Times, "We’ve always had the position we’re on public land, so certainly the bathrooms are open to the public." The new leaseholder, Dean J. Poll, who runs the Central Park Boathouse, isn't such a populist, but he actually spins the upcoming privatization as a thoughtful gesture for the bathroom-starved rabble: "Going past the bride or groom or people dressed to go to dinner, maybe that’s not what someone wants to do, and feels uncomfortable about it." Also, he adds, "the people in the restaurant feel uncomfortable." Good Heavens, Thurston, hoi polloi are in the powder room wearing short pantaloons! As a sop to the masses, Poll promises to construct a food concession stand outside the building with public restrooms, but nothing will ever, ever replace the satisfaction of using Tavern for its toilets.