Martin Shkreli is an exhausting media circus, the "Greed is good" monologue given life inside Alfred E. Neuman's body, and the sooner the phrase "Pharma Bro" is stricken from the Earth, the better. That being said, reading what a bunch of prospective jurors (for his recently-concluded fraud trial in which he was found guilty) had to say about how much they hate him is pretty entertaining.
Harper's published pieces of the transcript from the jury selection process of Shkreli's trial, in which over 200 potential jurors had to get turned away because they revealed their bias against Shkreli. And not only did they reveal that they couldn't hear the case with an open mind, a number of the jurors took the time to go into why and how much they hated Shkreli, starting immediately with Juror Number One.
The Court: The purpose of jury selection is to ensure fairness and impartiality in this case. If you think that you could not be fair and impartial, it is your duty to tell me. All right. Juror Number 1.
Juror No. 1: I’m aware of the defendant and I hate him.
Benjamin Brafman: I’m sorry.
Juror No. 1: I think he’s a greedy little man.
The Court: Jurors are obligated to decide the case based only on the evidence. Do you agree?
Juror No. 1: I don’t know if I could. I wouldn’t want me on this jury.
Now, some people might have just been out there trying to get out of jury duty. These jurors though, seemed to relish the opportunity to tell a judge that Shkreli was a dick.
The Court: Well, I’m going to excuse you. Juror Number 144, tell us what you have heard.
Juror No. 144: I heard through the news of how the defendant changed the price of a pill by up-selling it. I heard he bought an album from the Wu-Tang Clan for a million dollars.
The Court: The question is, have you heard anything that would affect your ability to decide this case with an open mind. Can you do that?
Juror no. 144: I don’t think I can because he kind of looks like a dick.
Others kind of did a phrenology thing, which isn't really fair, but was still funny.
The Court: Ma’am, we’re going to excuse you. Juror Number 52, how are you?
Juror No. 52: When I walked in here today I looked at him, and in my head, that’s a snake — not knowing who he was. I just walked in and looked right at him and that’s a snake.
Brafman: So much for the presumption of innocence.
The Court: We will excuse Juror Number 52. Juror Number 67?
Some people kept it short and sweet.
The Court: Then I will excuse you from this case. Juror Number 10, please come forward.
Juror No. 10: The only thing I’d be impartial about is what prison this guy goes to.
The Court: Okay. We will excuse you. Juror 28, do you need to be heard?
And while greed kept coming up with potential jurors, so did Wu-Tang, which makes sense given that this is their home turf and all.
Juror no. 59: Your Honor, totally he is guilty and in no way can I let him slide out of anything because —
The Court: Okay. Is that your attitude toward anyone charged with a crime who has not been proven guilty?
Juror No. 59: It’s my attitude toward his entire demeanor, what he has done to people.
The Court: All right. We are going to excuse you, sir.
Juror No. 59: And he disrespected the Wu-Tang Clan.
This is but a sampling of the many angry jurors, so be sure to hit up Harpers for the whole shebang.