With Secretary of State rumors swirling, Rudy Giuliani is thisclose to his moment in the sun, provided that sun doesn't melt him. But before he can slide into the fourth slot on the Presidential line of succession, the Senate's going to have to sift through some of his financial conflicts. Turns out, he's got a lot of them! What a surprising turn of events!

The Times ran a lengthy piece outlining how the Former Mayor of 9/11 And Our Current Living Dracula managed to make $16 million in a year—the year 2006, to be exact. Apparently, Giuliani earned at least $10 million by making privates speeches to some very questionable groups, like Wall Street banks, pharmaceutical companies, oil companies, and overseas investment companies. Boy are we lucky we didn't elect Hillary Clinton, huh? DRAIN THE SWAMP!

From January 2006 to 2007, Giuliani made $750K off of speeches he made to banks like JPMorgan Chase, Merrill Lynch, and the Lehman Brothers, remember that one? Giuliani demanded these speeches remain private, and he also apparently wanted to be flown around in fancy jets.

The Senate may also want to look into some of Giuliani's travel and business dealings overseas. The Times reports that Giuliani was paid handsomely for speeches made in Japan and Singapore—he was also paid for a number of speeches he gave at events organized by the Mujahedeen Khalq, or the MEK, as they're known.

The MKE is a political group of dissidents in Iran, and was actually on the State Department's foreign terrorist organization list until 2012. At one of Giuliani's speeches, he said Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, the supreme leader of Iran, should "be put on trial for crimes against humanity for the thousands and hundreds of thousands of people that they have killed," which is not exactly something you want to have said on the record while trying to negotiate deals with said leader.

"People would reasonably question his fitness for this political appointment given that he received payments from supporters of this organization, and these are matters he would be charged with dealing with as secretary of state," Paul S. Ryan, a vice president at Common Cause, a nonprofit group that examines special interest influence in politics, told the Times.

Of course, there are lots of other reasons to dread a Secretary of State Giuliani—there's his clear disregard for minority groups, for instance, as well as civil liberties. There's the fact that he spent 15 years exploiting a national tragedy for his own political and financial gain. And there's the fact that we'd have to look at his deranged rabbit face on television all day, but I suppose we have bigger problems than that.

I never thought I'd say this, but Mitt, save us.