Six hundred thirty-four Brooklyn Students, one pot to poop in: the Daily News reports on a truly crappy situation at Science Skills Center High School, where the school has allegedly only kept one of five working toilets open for the past month. And it's left students traumatized: "It was awful—and not just the smell or the line. It was the pee all over the place and the terrible plumbing," said 16-year-old Kianna Cole. To resolve this conflict, perhaps the school could get everyone together and have a block potty?

According to staff and students, the other four operable bathrooms were locked up by the school to prevent kids from misbehaving and getting violent in them—but if they felt the need to go to those extreme measures, there is something seriously stinky with the school. Principal Judy Henry told an Education Department spokeswoman that the single bathroom situation went on for only one day—but that was contradicted by interviews with two dozen students and two school workers, according to the News. Obviously they need a third party, perhaps a shitty official, to inspect the shituation.

"Flush with rage," Cole started a petition last week calling for more toilets, and collected over 200 signatures before the school opened the other bathrooms under increased pressure. But Cole isn't sure students are out of the commodes yet: "I'm just worried they'll close them again after the attention passes." To quote Mr. T, we pity the stools who would mess with a person's plumbing.