Celebrity accountant-turned-alleged Ponzi scammer Kenneth Starr has been stuck in Federal custody since the end of May, because he's had a hard time raising the $2 million bond to get him out. His lawyers are still trying to bail Starr out, having won commitments from two brothers and a friend, but prosecutors are fighting to keep Starr in custody, deeming him a flight risk. To support this claim, prosecutors filed a motion saying that it's "telling that his wife has not offered to sign any such bond, particularly since, according to multiple witnesses interviewed by the government, she is the only individual who has any modicum of suasion over the defendant." Gosh, how could that ungrateful ex-stripper refuse to rescue her poor, incarcerated husband?

A lawyer for Diane Passage, Starr's third wife, explains, "They have frozen all her accounts and then wonder why she has no funds to post for bail. If they release her funds, she can post them." (For good measure, Passage's lawyer also called the prosecution's remarks "downright stupid.") But surely Passage has a few hundred thousand in crumpled singles laying around that she could toss in?