Future trend story: I caught all the HPV thanks to Pokemon Go! (Photo courtesy Jen Chung)

The Pokemon Go zombie wave is here, with the delightful cartoon cockfighting app augmenting reality from the 9/11 Memorial to Manhattanhenge. And while some devotees of the game have publicly declared that Pokemon Go got them laid, we now have our first report of someone's wandering peen getting him caught in a Pokeball of lies.

The New York Post reports that Sunnyside resident Evan Scribner was caught two-timing his girlfriend after she looked at his phone and noticed that Pokemon Go data showed he'd caught a Pokemon in Bushwick, which just so happens to be where his ex lives. Somehow unable to come up with an excuse as to why he was in the 7th coolest neighborhood in the whole world, Scribner came clean and wound up getting dumped.

Scribner told the tabloid that he did indeed open his phone and catch a Pokemon after he boned his ex, so let this be a lesson for you, kids. Always have a good reason handy for why you were in Bushwick, and don't play Pokemon Go immediately after banging. Do something normal like checking up on the good tweets you missed while wasting time on human intimacy.