A press release from U.S. Customs and Border Protection informs us that—ha are you ready to LAFF?!—"an arriving passenger was 'sniffed' out by a U.S. Customs and Border Protection K-9 at John F. Kennedy International Airport trying to smuggle cocaine into the United States." Get it? (Everyone nose how we rail against puns, but we've got to draw the line somewhere, and that one really blows.) The dog, named Fenja, alerted his CBP handler to a suspicious suitcase that had arrived on a flight from Port of Spain, Trinidad on November 16th.

One Jerrita Baker, a U.S. citizen, was escorted to a private search room, where inspectors found five pounds of white powder that tested positive for cocaine. The CBP estimates that the street value of the seized narcotic is $87,000. Baker now faces federal narcotics smuggling charges.

“Cocaine is a dangerous narcotic, and CBP does its part in keeping these drugs off the streets.” Robert E. Perez, Director of CBP’s New York Field Operations, said in a statement. “Our officers are determined to protect the American people from these illicit substances.”

And so, with the arrest of Baker, that pretty much wraps up the War on Drugs. If you never tried cocaine, it looks like you missed your chance, sorry.

112014suitcasesnow2.jpg
(CBP)

The announcement came one day after TSA officials at JFK showed off an absurd array of items that had been seized from travelers who thought they could bring items like a credit card folding knife and a chainsaw splattered with fake blood.