A pilot in a LaGuardia-bound flight from North Carolina got locked in the bathroom of his own plane last night, triggering an accent-fueled terror scare that was completely, totally, absolutely, ridiculously unnecessary.

Here's what happened: The Chatauqua Airlines pilot decided to go to the bathroom shortly before landing at Laguardia (thus confirming our longstanding belief that nothing bad will actually happen if you get up while the seatbelt signal is on). But a jammed door left him trapped in there, so he started pounding on the door so someone would come help. A passenger, who just so happened to have a "thick Middle Eastern accent," heard the pilot and went to alert the crew. That's when the paranoid co-pilot freaked out:

“The captain disappeared in the back, and, uh, I have someone with a thick foreign accent trying to access the cockpit," he radioed air traffic control. What I’m being told is he’s stuck in the [lavatory], and, uh, someone with a thick foreign accent is giving me a password to access the cockpit...I'm not about to let him in."

The controller told the co-pilot to declare an emergency and "just get on the ground." Fortunately, the pilot managed to bust open the bathroom door and returned, assuring everyone on the ground that there was "no threat" from the passenger who was just trying to help. The plane landed at Laguardia around 6:30 p.m. last night, where cops spoke to the passenger and "quickly realized it was all a misunderstanding," which is exactly what they said about Cat Stevens Yusuf Islam, too.

Here's the audio of the "jittery" co-pilot explaining the situation: