Adolescents are essentially just bags of hormones, poor decisions and Red Bull, sprinkled with acne and stuffed into hip shoes. They are like you and me, but dumber and occasionally shorter. They often feel the need to compensate for their many inadequacies by doing exceptionally dumb shit.

We know this, and yet somehow, it remains remarkable just how breathtakingly moronic teens can be. The subway offers myriad opportunities for idiotic behavior—"let's see who can pee between the cars harder!", or whatever—and the above photo is a particularly choice example. It was sent by a reader to West Side Rag, who took the photo as the uptown express pulled out of the 96th Street station yesterday around 6 p.m.

Remember, teens: You are dumb, and so are all of your friends! You are lucky you are not dead! Please stay off the subway. In fact, please stay out of the subway system entirely. In FACTER fact, please just stay in your house until you are 30.