Poor Tony Bologna. Ever since video surfaced showing those two nogoodnik protesters got their pretty eyes in the way of his pepper spray, he's been widely reviled by a misinformed public. After being formally reprimanded for the incident, losing ten vacation days, and getting ridiculed by The Daily Show, Bologna is now trying to set the record straight. He's not some fascist who goes around inflicting agonizing pain on innocent young women; he's got the "best intentions." And he tells veteran crime reporter Murray Weiss he's been "tortured" since the incident.

"I did not intend to spray the women," the 30-year veteran says via DNAinfo's sources, adding that he "acted with the best intentions" when he blasted the women in the eyes without provocation and in violation of NYPD guidelines. Bologna says he was “shell-shocked” when the video went viral, but if he could turn back the clock he "would do things the same way." Though we imagine he might give the person who videotaped this a nice spicy spritz, too.

Bologna claims his intended target was three mysterious young men who were "on the ground trying to grab officers' legs from under the netting." He says he went to spray them but missed, hitting the ladies in stead. SO SUE HIM! (Actually, they probably will.) Of course, those three groper protesters escaped, so we'll just have to take Officer Bologna's word for it. Which is okay with Murray Weiss, who writes, "Bologna may have made a mistake in judgment and deserved a rip. But it is hard to see a crime here." Hmmm, somehow, we suspect it's a bit easier to see the crime if your eyes are full of pepper spray.

One of Bologna's victims, Kaylee Dedrick, 24, of Manhattan, tells the Post, "It was a tremendous amount of pain. I was blind for abut 45 minutes... I want something to happen, for this man to feel the repercussions of what he did that day." But Bologna—who has received death threats—insists that he felt the repercussions immediately: you see, some of the pepper spray actually blew back into his face. Yes, there's a tiny violin playing right now in Zuccotti park (you just can't hear it because they're not allowed to use amplification).