New Yorkers have long had tenuous but mostly respectful relationships with the celebrities who call NYC home, give or take a paparazzi showdown and/or the occasional Times Square meltdown. But the social contract between norms and celebs may be irrevocably broken now—because people keep stealing Edie Falco's bikes.
Falco was reporting the most recent theft at the 6th Precinct station in Greenwich Village when she revealed just how bad it's gotten. "I’ve had three other bikes stolen in the city, but they were [regular] bicycles," she told the Post. After the first three thefts, Falco invested in an electric bike. Electric bikes are technically illegal to drive around NYC, but not illegal to possess—and regardless, the Motorcycle Safety Foundation said she was in the clear because the engine was under 750 watts and it’s an e-bike.
And you can't imagine how much Falco loved that electric bike: it shows up in NY Times profiles of her ("Ms. Falco often rides around town on her electric bike"); she told Jimmy Kimmel it may have been the best thing she's ever bought in her life; she even risked her daughter's life to go on strolls together on the bike. Besides starring in The Sopranos and Nurse Jackie, her love for that electric bike is practically the next most defining thing about her.
The electric bike was taken from outside her doctor’s office at Greenwich Avenue and West 10th Street. Of course, this is at least partially Falco's fault, since she admitted she didn't have it locked up (although most people don't lock up motorcycles, and electric bikes are basically in-between regular bikes and those). Even though she must be suffering from extreme depression, Falco was handling the theft as well as can be imagined: "It’s New York," she shrugged and told the Post. "Stuff gets stolen."
Stuff does get stolen.
That doesn't make this right.
We should all be so lucky as to love something as much as Edie Falco loves that bike.
Turn yourself in, e-bike thief.
Give Edie Falco her electric bike back.
And please, New Yorkers: stop stealing Edie Falco's bikes.