You really can't make this up! A cop who claims he was fired for flashing a woman in a police stationhouse insists he is innocent—and he has (or, rather, doesn't have) the foreskin to prove it! According to former officer Owen Hopper's suit against the NYPD, "at no point during the trial was an expert called to render an opinion" as to whether or not an aroused uncut dong looks like a cut one.

You see, according to the suit, the unnamed accuser "repeatedly stated and testified that she unequivocally and clearly saw the petitioner’s penis and it was uncircumcised," but Hopper, 31, insists his bits were snipped way back in the day. And the mean hearing officer who heard the case didn't believe him! According to the suit, the officer "unjustly concluded an erect circumcised penis and an uncircumcised penis will appear the same" when hard. Uhm, a simple NSFW search on the Internet could have answered that question quite quickly!

Hopper, who says the idea he exposed himself in a stationhouse is "somewhat far-fetched," wants the NYPD to give him his job back after an expert confirms his johnson has no hood. But there are still some confusing details about his ejection from the force that may hinder his chances. Though he insists the real reason he got canned was cause he'd allegedly whipped his cock out, Hopper was technically fired after "pleading guilty to minor charges," which he says would normally result in docked vacation days, "stemming from an incident at the Iona College campus, where his then-girlfriend was a student."