You know those pesky teenagers who keep trying to sell you Peanut M&Ms on the subway, claiming that they're trying to raise money for their school's basketball team but if that's really the case then why are they on the subway at noon on a Thursday? Ever wish somebody had the courage to stand up to them? Meet PATH conductor Michael Wilson, who takes the no-eating-on-the-train rule very seriously.

Wilson has been charged with simple assault after an altercation with two candy-selling teens on his Manhattan-bound PATH train. The Post reports that he grabbed their box of candy and threw it out the window of the moving train before putting one teen in a headlock and the other in a choke hold (at the same time?) as they argued with him.

This wasn't the first time Wilson used force to enforce the food ban. In one instance he threw an entire box of pizza out the window, and in 2005 he threw a man's bucket of chicken out the window. However, the man claims he had also been keeping his prescription medication in that bucket, and authorities had to stop the train to look for it on the rails. We're not advocating conductors just throwing out your dinner like that, but if you're storing important medication inside of a chicken bucket, you're kind of asking for it to get lost one way or another.