Police are searching for a man who fondled a woman's toes in the parking lot of a New Jersey grocery store. Take however long you need to let that fully sink in.

The unidentified woman told police she was loading groceries into her car Saturday at a ShopRite in Mount Laurel around 10:20 p.m. when she was approached by a man. The man said he wanted to talk to her, and stopped her from shutting the driver's side door. He complimented her toes, as one does, but things got out of hand when he commenced in "touching and squeezing" two of her toes. None of several news reports elaborate on how the initial exchange resulted in the physical act of toe fondling. Did he sink slowly toward her feet as he spoke, or is he some sort of ninja?

The victim asked the man to release her feet. He complied, explaining that he was "obsessed with toes." Then he walked away. None of this story makes any sense.

The creepy Casatoeva is described as having short hair and weighing around 250 pounds. He was wearing a white shirt with a whole bunch of chains and crosses around his neck.