Life is just different in Park Slope: movie theaters kick you out for eating fruit, people tattoo their dogs, there are pop-up porridge shops, aggressive cats stalk the neighborhood, and young men accumulate sticker collections. And locals trolls will use any means at their disposal to dole out their unique brand of street justice to the posh locally-sourced brands they find wanting—and that includes LuLu's Cuts & Toys, which is currently in the midst of a truly anal crisis.

On a message board for the Google Group bergenbtwn4and5, someone identifying themselves as LuLu's owner Brigitte Prat (who has frequently responded to critics on LuLu's Yelp page) complained about a local jokester who has named their WiFi "LuLu's Anal Bleaching For Kids."

PLEASE HELP! Unfortunately someone near by has named their WiFi a really awful name referring to my shops, "LuLu's Anal Bleaching for Kids". I've tried calling Time Warner and Verizon and they can't seem to help. I have reached out to the 78th Precinct and my lawyer, but they can't help either because I don't know who it is. You can see the Network from both of my establishments, you can see it on your smart phone from my stores, my house, or standing in front of 417 & 426 Bergen Street as well as across the street. This is really disturbing and I'm lost to what to do without knowing who it is. Any other ideas on how to handle this? Brigitte

Obviously the best recourse is to take your enemy's words and throw them back at them. It's like that old adage: when life hands you unbleached anuses, start bleaching. And anyway, isn't the real crime here that LuLu's charges $26 for a children's haircut?

[h/t Gawker]