A week ago, Carl Paladino had a moment of divine inspiration: the NY gubernatorial campaign had been stricken with a severe case of poll frenzy. For a man who was used to forwarding bestiality videos, this would not suffice. So he started a fight with a NY Post reporter, and we all swooned. Theatrics were back! But now he faces that age old problem all the great entertainers have faced: how do you top that?
Paladino will attempt to top last week's finger-wagging performance with a mysterious "major" announcement on TV this evening. The broadcast is expected to happen at 5:13 pm, and is scheduled to appear on stations in Buffalo, Rochester, Syracuse and Albany (and online). It will likely also be shown on Channel 12 on Long Island, plus Westchester Fox cable (Paladino is also reportedly trying to buy time on Fox statewide). All his other commitments and scheduled speeches for today were canceled, according to his campaign manager Michael Caputo.
But as for the substance of the speech, it's anyone's guess. According to sources who talked to the Daily News, Paladino may apologize for his recent accusations that Andrew Cuomo was unfaithful to his ex-wife, or he may do the opposite and "reveal" damning information about his opponent. Ever the consummate performer, Paladino wants to keep his fans guessing. The only thing for sure is that he's not dropping out of the race. Maybe he'll reveal that he can see dead people. Maybe he'll reveal that we can all see dead people, since he's already dead. Our best guess: a line-by-line recreation of the scene below, sweat-flop and all.