We are less than 18 hours away from the greatest goddamn event of our lifetime people: Will.I.Am.The.Balding.Prince and Kate "Champagne Hands" Middleton are getting married tomorrow, and David Beckham is so friggin' excited he recorded a special message just recounting all the many ways he's so excited about the uber-exciting event. While New Yorkers will have several options where to watch the nuptials, one very lucky employed NYer will have the royal privilege of being the only American working at the event. It's as if the American Revolution never happened!

Native New Yorker Denton John, 23, will be working tomorrow as a member of the Household Cavalry Mounted Regiment, an elite branch of the British military charged with protecting the royals, especially Queen Elizabeth. That all means he'll get to sit around on a horse for several hours in an ill-fitting redcoat, until the Queen is ready to leave Westminster Abbey after the wedding. His former Harlem high school teacher is pumped: "I was always sure he was going to do something positive with his life. He would come to school in a tie every day, always cool -- and this was before mandatory uniforms!" said Loretta Lewis, who works at Wadleigh HS on West 114th Street.

Because John is a dual citizen of the US and Grenada, part of the British Commonwealth, he is the rare American who is allowed to serve in the British army. He told CNN that he didn't necessarily dream of mashed peas and shepherds pie when he was growing up on the streets of Manhattan: "When I was young, it was all about skateboarding, punk rock...I was into everything." We hope John has a fun time of it; hopefully this royal wedding will go a bit smoother than the one on Game Of Thrones.