Intense storms across the Northeast yesterday unleashed heavy rain, flash flooding, and OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD A TORNADO WHILE I'M DRIVING MY CAR AND FILMING AT THE SAME TIME!

For those of you who threw your computers out the window within the first five seconds of screeching, here's the full transcript, courtesy permanently-scarred intern Sophie Kleeman:

Oh my God. I'm seriously driving through a fucking tornado. It is the craziest weather right now. No one knows what to do. It's—I've never seen it rain this hard in my life, and I don't even know how I'm driving right now, but Ahhhh! [tiny scream] Okay I'm going bye.


Driver/Cinematographer: Oh my God this is FUCKING CRAZY! [voice gets increasingly high-pitched] It is a legit tornado, oh my God, oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my fucking God! Oh my God! Oh my God, it is a fucking tornado, oh my God. Oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God I am scared out of my fucking mind right now. Oh my God, oh my God. Oh my God. I need my mom. I need my dad. Oh my God I'm gonna die! I don't know what's going on! I seriously don't know! [exit music]

The video ends before we learn of the poor woman's fate, but since there were no fatalities reported yesterday, we're guessing her God finally answered her prayers. Tornadoes: they just never seem to touch down where you want them to! [Editor's note: that was meant in jest; obviously we wish our protagonist a long and fruitful life of spiritual wonderment, which will no doubt be preserved in countless timeless YouTube videos.]