For a brief, shining moment it seemed the city was too distracted by impending political doom to systematically destroy neighborhoods with ridiculous monikers made up by real estate firms. Obama's America afforded us the luxury to bicker over Jefftown, but no more! Unfortunately, brokers still want to sell apartments, and now someone's trying to turn the Lower East Side into "NoLo." RESIST. RESIST. RESIST.

Travel & Leisure, a magazine that routinely calls New York dirty and rude, recently ran a roundup of destinations in so-called "NoLo," described as "the parts of Soho where Nolita bumps against the Lower East Side." This mythical no man's land, according to T&L, is "now home to some of New York’s buzziest restaurants, cafes, and stores," and indeed, the magazine crows, "there’s no cooler neighborhood mashup than what some are calling 'NoLo.'”

I have never in my life heard anyone utter the word "NoLo," so I assume that the "some" T&L refers to are "realtors." The spots the magazine lists already belong to established neighborhoods—Broome street tattoo shop Bang Bang NYC is decidedly on the LES, for instance, as is Café Henrie on Forsyth. The owner of matcha joint Cha Cha Matcha, also on Broome, describes the shop's location as " a melting pot of the Lower East Side, SoHo, Chinatown, and Nolita," but it's mostly just in Nolita—which is already a neighborhood name made up by realtors in the 1990s!

These neighborhood names do stick sometimes, even when you don't want them to—I once non-ironically referred to my own neighborhood as "Pro Cro," then swiftly prayed for death. So no, NoLo is not a thing, don't be fucking ridiculous.