Do you have $80,000 to spare? No? That's too bad, because that's all it takes to get you and a friend into a fundraiser for President Obama on Thursday night hosted by Sarah Jessica Parker and Vogue editor Anna Wintour. You could have entered a contest to get in for free (for a nominal donation) but that contest is closed. Fortunately, it doesn't take away the fun of watching this video of Wintour pitching the dinner with "Mee-chelle Obama" while off-camera, David Axelrod holds a blowtorch to her bound appendages.

Sure, you could always go to Sex & The City co-founder Darren Star's fundraiser later that night with Architectural Digest editor Margaret Russell, Alicia Keys, Mariah Carey, Corey Booker, some HBO executive and—ugggghhhhhh it's all sooooooo pedestrian! They'll let anyone in for a measly $10,000!

Meanwhile, Mitt Romney and the GOP bested the president and the DNC in fundraising last month, as Romney will continue to rub Lloyd Blankfein's head for good luck (and more cash).