The husband of an NYPD-affiliated Yonkers psychologist has accused his wife of attempting to murder him, execution-style, with an antique derringer, in order to clear the path to run off with her Texas-based lover.

Kenneth Dearden Jr. is not dead, but he is pissed that his wife, Emily Dearden, apparently tried to kill him in his sleep in order to avoid all the tedious paperwork and hassle that would accompany divorce. Her lover, Warren Roudebush, had ended his own marriage shortly beforehand, the suit says, and was pestering her to do the same so they could be together damn it.

But this was not strictly a matter of the heart—there were also practical considerations: "With [Kenneth] no longer in the picture, [Emily] could avoid a contentious divorce, keep the marital home and never admit the marriage infidelity to any family and friends,” the suit says. It really was a great plan.

Unfortunately for Emily, Kenneth survived the attempt on his life—the bullet passed beneath his ear canal and lodged in his left cheek. He underwent three surgeries to repair the damage, and now, a year later, he is back with one hell of an action-packed lawsuit.

Emily claims that an intruder was responsible for the shooting, but that story has some holes. For starters, the couple's home bore no signs of forced entry, and the alarm system had been deactivated, potentially so her lover, Warren, could more easily slip inside. Emily claimed the alleged "intruder" clobbered her in the back of the head, but she never sought medical attention. She did not contact her in-laws to notify them that their son had been shot in the head, though she did manage to squeeze in time for a coffee break with her boyfriend.

Additionally, the suit alleges she was washing clothes the day of the shooting—a day she doesn't normally do laundry. By the way, the Dearden's also have two kids, who were presumably in the house at the time.

Emily has not been charged with a crime, but she was pulled from her role as a psychologist who screens new NYPD recruits. She does, however, remain employed, and continues to "evaluate cops from an administrative level," according to the Daily News.

The incident occurred in November of 2013. Emily filed for divorce... this August.