The Brooklyn man who last week stuck dozens of dildos to the "Charging Bull" sculpture on Wall Street, then straddled the bull while posing shirtless in a Vladimir Putin mask, has been fined $100 by the NYPD.
The culprit is Jeff Jetton, a media strategist and former D.C. restaurateur who moonlights as an amateur Trump-Russia investigator. He turned himself into the 1st Precinct on Monday, after police officers informed him that he'd be receiving a summons for the dicks-and-oligarch prank, he says.

(Courtesy of Jetton)
Jetton tells Gothamist that the stunt involved painstakingly placing numerous suction cup dildos on the Arturo Di Modica statue, hours before the controversial summit between President Trump and Putin. Why'd he do it? "The message is clear: Putin is fucking America. And with the help of the very institutions put in place to protect us," said Jetton.
That message nearly went undelivered, as Jetton apparently managed to lose the sex toys in an Uber for around four days. They've since been donated to Bushwick's House of Yes, he notes.
As far as the consequences, Jetton says that he fullly intends to cooperate, and that, "If need be I will present what remains of the one hundred dildos as evidence at my day in court." He adds that the NYPD officers were "super friendly and nice," and "the utmost professionals in dealing with this incident." He is due in court in September, and is being advised by an attorney with the Bronx Defenders.
A description of the charges, written by Detective Rodriguez, reads: "I observed approximately 40 sex toys affixed to a statue under the jurisdiction of parks department. Defendant stated to me that he attached sex toys to statue."
Take that, Putin.