A new scientific study done by those pocket-protecting eggheads over at Atlantic Monthly says that NYC has ranked as one of the top five most walkable cities in America. But why aren't we number one? Because standing in our way is the god-forsaken, gay pothead homeless persons paradise that is San Francisco.

According to Walkscore, we've got really, really walkable neighborhoods (including perfect walking scores for Little Italy, Garment District, Greenwich Village, Tribeca, Financial District, and West Village). Now, we don't have a clue what any of this really means, but we do know for sure that we've been robbed. So watch out San Francisco: we'd hate it if you had some sort of "accident," and lost the use of those pretty little legs of yours.