"This is a TV apartment!"

Recently a real estate agent at an unnamed company in New York left a manual behind in a client's apartment, and what follows will totally not shock you.

The manual was discovered by a Guardian writer after the realtor departed his home, and he's now sharing what he discovered inside. Basically, realtors are sneaky, just as we suspected. Some bullet points from the guide:

  • "For all studio ads put 'One bedroom' in the box and then specify that apartment is a studio, or alcove in the title of body of the ad.”
  • And about those little cozy nests we call studios, the spins continue: “This studio is bigger than any one-bedroom for this price!" “This studio is an alcove - you can easily put up a wall!"
  • Suggested phrases include: "This is a TV apartment."
  • Of course, many of their promised dream apartments (particularly those no-fee ones) do not exist. Their ALL CAPS mantra: “WORRY ABOUT THE APARTMENT LATER … JUST GET THE CLIENTS INTO THE OFFICE.”
  • Trying to find something in your budget? Forget about it—the manual reads: “Think out of bounds; if their budget is $3,100, show an apartment for $3,500.”
  • Agents are also urged to “never show a husband the apartment without his wife."
  • And of course, always make the client feel the pressure by telling them things like: “For every great apartment there are five to 10 people you are competing against who want it!” And, "Apartments can be gone within 20 minutes, [you] do not have the luxury of taking time to think about it."

Most realtors aren't living in dream homes either, however—as one former agent wrote earlier this year: "Of course, it was fun to check out townhouses in Park Slope, airy two-bedrooms in Williamsburg, and gargantuan apartments in Ditmas Park, imagining what it was like to live in each one. But it was hard to imagine living in a $2 million home when you consider two slices of $1 pizza a splurge." Maybe we can all work on this housing revolution thing together.