You'd think with the economic inequality, outrageous housing costs, and rampant subway serpents, living in NYC would be a dream come true. But a recent study claims that New York is the most unhappy city in the country, so you and all your sorority sisters don't have to move here after all!

The study, released last week by the National Bureau of Economic Research and conducted using data adjusted for factors like age, sex, race and income, from a CDC study, found that New York landed dead last in life satisfaction out of 177 metro areas. DEAD LAST. As in, behind cities like Erie, P.a.; St. Joseph, Mo.; South Bend, Ind.; and Detroit. Jersey City ranked 8th most unhappy on the list, which means people who live in Jersey City are happier than people who live in NYC, and they have to take the PATH train.

Do not let such a study discourage you, New Yorkers. We have many wonderful things here that the top five happiest cities (Lafayette, Houma, Shreveport-Bossier City, Baton Rouge and Alexandria, all in Louisiana) don't have: art museums that regularly boast spectacular, breathtaking exhibitions you read about on the Internet; one of the world's most beautiful parks, and you can drink literally all the time, though not on the stoop right outside your building. And ne'er forget our public transportation, which far out-rivals whatever they're offering out in Louisiana.

At the very least, it's not that hard to score Xanax here.