It seems like just yesterday we were waxing poetic on the frozen lagoons that transformed sidewalks into shiny death traps. But it is in fact currently summer, as evidenced by today's sweltering heat and stifling humidity that officially heralds a season marked by visible back sweat and pungent Eau d'Sanitation Truck. Note that there has never been a better time to petition your boss for a frozen margarita machine (hi Jen Chung!)
Weatherpersons claim today's temperature will reach the low 90s this afternoon, which, coupled with 70 percent humidity, makes for a fairly swampy couple of subway commutes. We can also expect thunderstorms today and tonight, along with strong winds, lightning, and a boatload of rain. And to think, it's only Tuesday!
Still, though some people prefer the Arctic tundra to stifling air and mosquitos of death, there are lots of things to look forward to now that the weather's turned thermogenic. Like, Summer Fridays, for those of you who will one day be subject to an afterlife full of suffering.
Other warm weather blessings include a wealth of outdoor films (provided you do not get crushed to death by other humans), trips to the beach, dishing out rent money for iced coffee, and earning bragging rights because you still haven't purchased an A/C unit (save the glaciers!), though you are currently dating someone who just happens to have central air.
Note that today's heat will not last through the week—Wednesday's and Thursday's mercury will creep down to the far more tolerable low 80s, and we're in for some chillier rainy weather on Friday and over the weekend. And more importantly, remember that summer only lasts a few months, and once it starts, each day is a step closer to the crushing misery that comes with an unending stretch of darkness and single-degree weather—Winter Is Always Coming, after all, until it finally arrives.
On the other hand, we've also only got a few decades left of summers that are even this tolerable, considering future generations are looking at a nearly ten-degree jump in average summer temperatures. Oh well, you weren't planning on having children anyway.