Why say something in three syllables when you can say it in nine? That seems to be the flawless reasoning from the fine folks over at Time Warner Cable, who've come to suspect the masses don't understand that NY1 is the exclusive news channel of Time Warner Cable hostages subscribers.

To drive the point home to the company's benighted slaves customers, they're changing the name from NY1 to "Time Warner Cable News NY1." It rolls right off the tongue doesn't it, just like other timeworn phrases such as "This Widespread Internet Outage Is The Perfect Opportunity To Take A Long, Introspective Look At The Life Choices That Led You To This Desolate Place And You're Also Fat."

Here, let Time Warner Cable's folksy announcement toss a friendly arm around your shoulder and help get you acclimated to the New Way, big guy:

We’re giving our news networks a more consistent look and feel, which should allow customers to more easily identify our brand when they’re traveling into other markets and seeing our product.

We’ll begin to introduce the new brand to our customers over the next month, and the goal is to complete the updates in all markets before the end of the year. You’ll hear about it on TV, via social media and other customer touchpoints. To see more examples of how it will look, check out this video:

[Via Capital New York]