We all know there are plenty of things out there that can't be explained by mere science—but NY state has gone out of its way to take a stance on the rarely-seen Bigfoot. The chief of the Department of Environmental Conservation claims that "there is no such animal anywhere in the world"—and yet, they refuse to ban Bigfoot hunting. Could it be that the government really just wants to capture and/or kill Bigfoot before you do? Or perhaps they're involved in some sort of Bigfootpayola with the Finding Bigfoot hunters?

Here's what DEC Chief Wildlife Biologist Gordon Batcheller wrote in response to Peter Wierner, the founder of the Chautauqua Lake Bigfoot Expo, who had written them urging that they write non-hunting regulations on Bigfoot:

The mythical animal does not exist in nature or otherwise. I understand, however, that some well organized hoaxes or pranks have occurred, leading some people to believe that such an animal does live. However, the simple truth of the matter is that there is no such animal anywhere in the world. I am sorry to disappoint you. However, no program or action in relation to mythical animals is warranted.

Previously, the DEC had implied that no official regulations would actually be beneficial for any potential Bigfoots, which this new letter seems to negate. As the NY Times puts it, the Bigfoot population has been left startlingly vulnerable now. Although, that just means Bigfoot is in the same league as irony-hating NY Times writers.