According to the New York Post, Lady Justice has taken off her Gucci stunners and triple-kissed the glowstick out of her mouth. Following the tabloid's report on the Gansevoort Park Avenue's raucous Sunday pool parties, the paper proclaims "City Launches Probe," and quotes DOB spokesman Ryan Fitz-Gibbon in the story's third graph: "We will take the appropriate action based upon what we find." Take THAT, girls in bikinis playing chicken with party promoters named Sebastian! But wait, what's this? "Fitz-Gibbon said the city usually sends out inspectors once it is made aware of potential problems—but wouldn’t say for sure if investigators will visit this Sunday’s bash." Perhaps that "probe" is more of a "poke."

So the city might pop in on Sunday to check the roof deck occupancy and bring their decibel-reading ice luge, but "police sources" say that the NYPD's cabaret unit is "expected" to take a looksee. Here's our favorite part of the piece:

“I’d hate to have to get out of there if there was a fire,” one scenester who was at a party nearby last weekend said yesterday after seeing The Post’s report.

Presumably that scenester's party had multiple, unobstructed egresses, cocktail napkins with the fire plan printed on them, flame-retardant coasters, and oxygen masks made to look like the Eyes Wide Shut visors. What ever happened to Letting the Motherfucker Burn? (Burn Motherfucker, Burn).