Just when we were starting to forget about Peter 'the fake firefighter rapist' Braunstein, the New York Post brings him back. Er, well, talks to his 62-year-old former Bellevue roommate, a guy named William Allman.
Honestly there isn't a shred of new verifiable information in the entire article, but we have to admit that we found ourselves unable to stop reading about how "Braunstein 'hounds' others into giving up their food so he can stuff himself with extra bagels and muffins, turkey and Jell-o" and how he asks for the Charles Bronson 'Death Wish' series when ever asked what he'd like to watch for entertainment. We were particularly struck by this scene:
On one occasion, [Allman] said, Braunstein fondled himself under a newspaper in a common room while gazing at a shapely corrections officer. "He was sitting with a newspaper on his lap and pretended like he was reading. But he was rubbing himself and staring at the officer. I said, 'What the hell are you doing, you freako!'"
Braunstein, 41, bawled in protest, claiming Allman was "picking on him," said the former bunkmate.
"And I got into trouble for it. There's no way to prove what he was doing, but I know what I saw."
Wait. Pause. "Freako?" No way. This story was some kind of belated April Fools joke, right Posties? Right?