Another New York Post employee has been brutally sacrificed on the altar of ignorance in the name of bygone authenticity. According to an article entitled "Tamer city speed limit unsafe…for law-abiding drivers," reporter Jennifer Bain is made to look like a person who actually believes that the new 25 mph speed limit will endanger drivers' lives.

Expressing a sentiment that even deranged internet commenters would have trouble rationalizing, Bain writes that driving the 25 mph speed limit "practically killed me," and in a single sentence, distilled the hundreds of lives lost each year on New York City streets into a coffee stain.

Driving slow did make it easier to guzzle coffee. If you drive fast like I used to before, it will splash all over you. So that’s one small benefit, for my clothes.

Bain, who is presumably a free-thinking human being and not a cigar-chomping Jimmy Breslin bobblehead, was also forced to write these sentences:

In the halcyon pre-25 mph driving days of my recent past, I myself had blown my horn liberally.

But Friday I learned the hard way that it’s no fun to be on the other side of a rolling horn section’s worth of rage.

I’m the kind of driver who always wants to go fast. I love the freedom of driving fast. It always gives me a rush.

But Friday, I kept putting my head in my hands in frustration.

In an astonishing abdication of the remnants of her self-awareness, Bain then describes how she is physically incapable of driving the speed that is faster than the actual speed traveled by vehicles in New York City.

Normally, 30 to 35 is my natural default- if traffic isn’t bad, I drive that speed without thinking about it.

There is no way I will be able to adjust and drive 25 mph, I finally realized.

Bain joins the paper's editorial board, Doree Lewak, Steve Cuozzo, and every other person who has transmogrified their nuanced existence into a flatulent sneer of fuggedaboutit.