Let us pause (momentarily) from reading about natural disasters that we have brought upon ourselves to expand our news diet. *Rustles paper* Ah, look: an article concerning transit in The New York Post. What's this? Bike lanes are ruining Fifth Avenue in Park Slope! Wait, no, actually it looks like a single MTA bus driver doesn't like slowing down for other traffic on Fifth Avenue, which obviously implicates the bike lanes. Transit reporting!

Here's B63 bus operator Darren Davis' gripe:

The bike lanes—between 23rd and Dean streets—leave little room to avoid opened car doors or bikes that come whizzing out of nowhere, Davis said.

“Nine times out of 10, you can swerve around, but here, there’s nowhere to go,” he said.

Sure, 90% of the time it's fine to just careen your 20,000 lbs steel brick around a car door or a human being on a bike. But sometimes it's just not prudent to do so. If only there was another recourse; another, say, "pedal," located right next to the one that makes the bus go faster, that could help alleviate the issue of obstacles being in the path of his bus! It's as if bike lanes exist to purposely slow traffic down and keep people from dying.

Some of the lanes are protected—meaning they are sectioned off from regular traffic—while others are what are known as “shared paths.” Those paths share the road with cars but have a painted bicycle on them to warn drivers.

"Shared paths?" Like Chairman Mao Boulevard?

“It’s like encouraging [cyclists] to take this route,” said Annie Shapero, of Brooklyn, who rides the bus to and from work.

Why would the city spend money on paint to encourage people to ride bikes? OK, nothing to see here. Freaking out and taking pictures is more fun anyway.