The Pope's in town for the next few days to spread the Bad News About Capitalism, as you've most certainly heard, provided you have not been struck deaf and dumb. And though we've been forewarned that the streets of New York will soon be transformed into the sixth Circle of Hell, it appears your upcoming commutes will be nightmarish as well—the MTA warns of "service changes and potential crowding" on subways, buses and trains, starting tonight and lasting through Saturday morning. For the love of God, stay home.

Indeed, the MTA says that while the subway is set to run as usual once the Popemobile hits the streets, straphangers "may experience crowded conditions" wherever His Holiness steps, and it's possible subway entrances near St. Patrick’s Cathedral, Central Park and Madison Square Garden will be temporarily shut down to prevent crowding. You can also expect that many, many more tourists will lean over you while inspecting the subway map, and at least five of them will ask you if the F train runs local.

Meanwhile, bus service will be a mess thanks to rampant street closures (full list here), and the MTA is urging riders to check the agency's website for delays and updates. The following service areas will be affected:

Thursday
• E 72 St between Madison Av and 5 Av
• Wall St Heliport
• 55 St to 49 St
• Midtown

Friday
• Central Park West
• E 72 St between Madison Av and 5 Av
• United Nations
• 9/11 Memorial
• East Harlem
• Madison Square Garden - Midtown West

Saturday
• E 72 St between Madison Av and 5 Av
• Wall St Heliport

As for the Bridge-and-Tunnel crowd, the agency's suspended roadwork on MTA bridges and tunnels and says they'll be staffing them to the gills. Metro-North will operate an extra three NYC-bound trains, and the LIRR will operate eight extra westbound trains to Penn Station to alleviate the crowds—LIRR riders should also note that certain street entrances to Penn Station will be closed tomorrow when the Pope holds Friday evening Mass at Madison Square Garden. It's also a good idea to purchase a round-trip MetroCard before you get into Manhattan if you don't have one and are traveling in from outside the borough.

So, in short, it's best to prepare for a scene from the fires of Gehinnom. Which probably isn't any different from your usual pre-commute emotional prep-work.