The basic tenets of the free market economic system are simple: Consumers fork over an agreed-upon sum to sellers in exchange for a good or service. They also fork over the same agreed-upon sum if, say, the consumer's small dog decides to piss all over the the goods, which in this case happens to be $2,000 worth of dresses and pants at a New Jersey clothing store.

But area resident Theresa Tumbleson, 35, wasn't about to play by these rules, even after her tiny dog managed to urinate on 14 dresses and 11 pair of pants inside the Toms River location of Lane Bryant, a plus-size women's clothing store.

According to the Star Ledger, incensed employees asked Tumbleson and her pee-filled cur to please leave the outlet following the episode around 1 p.m. Monday.

Tumbleson allegedly became belligerent, but sped off in her white Chevy Malibu with her freshly-emptied pet just as officers arrived at the scene. Police say she passed through a series of red lights, but officers opted not to give chase, since the roads were quite slick, probably with rain but possibly dog piss, who knows.

Stunningly, Tumbleson managed to evade the cops, who are still looking for her. Attempts to reach her at her Jackson home have been unsuccessful, and if she's caught, she will be charged with eluding a police officer and obstruction of the administration of law. By now the pair are probably long gone, sipping peeña coladas on the sandy beaches of Mexico.