A former New Jersey high school teacher is suing her former employer, claiming that she was denied tenure because she complained about being sexually harassed by one of her students. According to the Star-Ledger, the complaint alleges that the Boonton High student in question put a tube of paint in the crotch of his pants "while uttering noises to simulate his sexual satisfaction." Aw, come on: anyone who watched Bob Ross knows that happy erotic noises are part of the creative process!

In addition to the painting tube incident, the teacher of three years, Michelle McBride, claims the unnamed student made comments "about her breasts and buttocks during class; and submitting a research paper on the subject of 'sexting' in which he repeatedly used graphic language" in referring to her body. They said the same thing about Freud.

Though there are only three, the reviews of McBride on ratemyteachers.com are positive, with one noting that she's "easy to talk to, helpful. one of the only teachers that seems to care." Then again, another says "mccfuckinbrizzleee."

McBride's suit says that after the 2010-2011 school year, the school hid the "true motivation" for refusing to rehire her, which was that she reported the harassment. School superintendent Christine Johnson called the allegations in the complaint "ludicrous." Indeed: there's nothing more ludicrous than believing that a teenage boy would say inappropriate things around members of the opposite sex.