Newtown Creek, the only place in the city where you can get a gratis black mayonnaise facial, has been awarded a $16 million settlement in exchange for the decades of environmental atrocities wrought upon its waters. Seems fair!

The cash will come from the now-defunct Getty Petroleum Marketing Inc. and Getty Terminals Corp., which, along with dozens of other companies, employed the creek as a convenient dumping ground for roughly 30 million gallons of toxic waste over several decades. The $16 million is the product of an agreement forged between Getty and the federal government as part of the bankruptcy process.

“For more than a century, irresponsible industrial activities turned Newtown Creek into a tributary of toxic waste," Manhattan U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara said in a statement. "Today’s settlement ensures that Getty takes responsibility for its contribution to that sad legacy, and pays a fair share of clean-up costs at the site. This Office is committed to holding those who contaminate our nation’s lands and waterways accountable for their actions, and bankruptcy is not a free pass for polluters.”

Newtown Creek holds the estimable title as one of the nation's most hazardous waste sites, in 2010 earning its place on the EPA's Superfund National Priorities List on account of its "range of contaminants including pesticides, heavy metals, polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs) and volatile organic compounds."

Getty admits that it dumped a shit ton of oil into the creek in October of 2005, though it's hardly the only party responsible. Just this summer, the state's Department of Environmental Conservation began receiving calls about a fresh "rainbow sheen" drifting atop the creek's "waters." Turns out a company called Cobra Scrap Waste Oil was blithely dumping the contents of one of its trucks into a drain near the Borden Avenue Bridge, resulting in around 2,000 gallons of bonus oil for the creek's Ghost Dolphins to play in.

But don't take the EPA's word for it—the North Brooklyn Boat Club is hosting a Haunted Canoe Ride at the end of the month. Get in there.