Are you feeling sick to your stomach, as if a giant weight is on your chest and the room keeps spinning and you're just can't seem to regain control? Relax, you're probably not pregnant: Newt Gingrich and Donald Trump are currently in the Trump Tower. A spokesman for Gingrich tells CNN that Newt "will seek Mr. Trump's advice and endorsement." Also probably on the docket: how much mileage to put on their wives before trading them back to the dealer, and a roundtable interview with Jowls Quarterly.
Gingrich is the fifth candidate to find it necessary to meet with Donald Trump, with only Ron Paul and Jon Huntsman abstaining. They also happen to be the two candidates who refused to join a Trump-moderated debate later this month. Gingrich is the first to publicly accept the invitation, telling reporters, "This is a country that elected a peanut farmer to the presidency. This is a country that elected an actor who made two movies with a chimpanzee to the presidency. Donald Trump is a great showman; he's also a great businessman." When reached for comment, America said, "Mistakes were made," before taking a long draught on a quarter-empty bottle of scotch.
And because he wants kids to mop the floors of the Trump Tower, Gingrich is apparently pressing The Donald to help children become
vacuous, reality-TV whores gainfully employed members of society by starting a kid's version of The Apprentice. "I thought it was a great idea," Trump said. "We're going to be picking 10 young wonderful children and make them 'apprenti.' We're going to have a little fun with it." Okay Apprenti, lets see how fast you can hem one of the Donald's suits!